I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Semen is not good for contacts.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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