i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
