I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
