so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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