Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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