i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
