So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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