should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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