I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
