Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
