drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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