..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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