It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
handjob tips. give me some.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Randomize
