Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize