Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
