Define "chronic" masturbator.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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