I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
