if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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