Christians are straight up FREAKS
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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