Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
