I CAN MOONWALK!
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
