So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
