the new term for farting is butt boxing.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
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