I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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