if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize