New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
