jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
