i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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