I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Sext me about skeletons
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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