I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
