I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
