You can't motorboat a personality
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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