Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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