ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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