did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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