it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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