i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
