I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Randomize
