So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
