im gay
i know
yea but for you.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
