I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
