he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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