the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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