tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
