You made me cry and you don't even care
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
