Having a random hookup so left but love u
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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