Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
