It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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