Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
