Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
