Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
