Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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