nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
